Introduction: The Feeling of Powerlessness
Something happens to us when we believe we have little power. The world feels unpredictable, chaotic, and controlled by forces beyond our influence. Whether at work, in our communities, or on the global stage, power often seems to accumulate in the hands of a few, while the rest of us are left to navigate an environment where decisions are made without us, and often, against us.
If you’ve ever felt trapped—stuck in a job where your voice doesn’t matter, caught in a social or political structure that disregards your interests, or in any personal relationship where the balance of influence is uneven—you are not alone.
So, what do you do when you feel as if you have very little power?
Most people assume the answer is to get more of it—to fight, to win, to claim a seat at the table. But what if that assumption is flawed? What if real power isn’t about winning at all, but about recognizing the patterns that shape our lives and learning how to disrupt them?
The Illusion of Power
Power is often misunderstood. Howard Suber, a film scholar, defines power as “the ability to produce change or prevent it.” That definition is simple, but the implications are profound. It explains why power is at the center of so many destructive relationships—because when someone can shape outcomes, they will go to great lengths to keep that ability in their hands.
But power is not the same as authority. Authority is the permission to use power, granted by legal, social, or moral frameworks. Power does not automatically bestow legitimacy, yet those who have it often seek out justifications for why they deserve it.
More importantly, power is not permanent. It fluctuates. It shifts. And those who fear losing it will go to extraordinary lengths to maintain the illusion that it is stable, absolute, and unchallengeable.
When power imbalances persist, polarization becomes the inevitable result. The powerful cling to what they have. Those with little power seek to correct the imbalance—until the cost of resisting becomes too great. This is the cycle we see repeatedly in history, politics, and our own communities. The question isn’t just about power itself, but about the patterns that power imbalances create.
Recognizing the Traps of Power Imbalance
If you feel powerless, you are likely caught in one of several traps—each designed to keep you in place.
The Fate vs. Destiny Trap – The belief that your circumstances are fixed, that the conditions of your life are dictated by fate rather than shaped by your choices. But fate is merely what life has imposed upon you. Destiny is what you decide to pursue. To shift from one to the other is to reclaim a sense of agency.
The Supremacy Trap – The idea that the only way to gain power is to take it from someone else. This is the zero-sum illusion, the belief that power is finite, and that for one person to gain influence, another must lose it. This is a dangerous trap, because it forces people into cycles of conquest and retaliation, rather than transformation and collaboration.
The Surrender Trap – The most insidious of all. It convinces you that resistance is futile, that the pain of struggle outweighs the rewards of change. This trap is designed to deplete self-respect, erode self-esteem, and erase dignity. Don’t fall into it.
Recognizing these traps is the first step to escaping them. The next step is learning how to disrupt them.
The Role of the Intermediary: Disrupting Polarization
The world teaches us to see conflict in black and white—heroes and villains, winners and losers, the powerful and the powerless. But reality is more complicated. And those who seek to break the cycle of power imbalances must often occupy a different role entirely: the intermediary.
Intermediaries sit between opposing forces. They are the ones who can move between groups, translate perspectives, and challenge both sides. Moses was an intermediary. So was Mandela. So were many of the most transformative figures in history—not because they claimed power for themselves, but because they redefined how power was used.
Intermediaries are powerful precisely because they are useful. They disrupt established patterns. They expose hidden dynamics. They shift attention away from the performance of power and toward the relationships that sustain it.
The problem is that intermediaries rarely seem to belong anywhere. They are often seen as outsiders—too connected to one side to be trusted by the other. But that is exactly what makes them effective. In teams, in organizations, in communities, and even in global conflicts, intermediaries are the ones who reveal the real story: that power is not about individuals, but about the relationships between them.
The Hero’s Choice: Defiance and Dignity
As Dr. Suber teaches in his work, in almost every story, the hero is someone who refuses to be defined by their circumstances. They may begin as a victim, trapped by forces larger than themselves. But what makes them heroic is their ability to say no—to reject the conditions imposed upon them and to claim a different future.
Defiance is a necessary step in the journey to becoming a hero. It is the moment when a person stops reacting to their fate and starts shaping their destiny.
But heroes frequently pay a price. The community benefits, but the hero often does not. The hero sacrifices. The hero is wounded. And yet, that sacrifice leaves a lasting imprint. The most powerful heroes are the ones who leave behind something greater than themselves—a new possibility, a new pattern, a new way of thinking about what power truly is.
This is why, in the real world, there are so few heroes. Because heroism is costly. And most people would rather preserve what little power they have than risk losing it for the sake of others.
But maybe the real question isn’t about heroes at all. Maybe it’s about the relationships between us as characters—the heroes, villains, and intermediaries. The real story begins with choices made by the disruptors, the ones who refuse to accept the illusion of power as it has been defined.
Call to Action: Small Acts of Power
So, what do you do when you feel as if you have very little power? You disrupt the patterns that keep you feeling powerless.
Here’s how:
Identify polarization and interrupt it. The next time you see two opposing sides locked in a battle over who is right, step into the middle and expose the underlying patterns.
Be an intermediary. Mediate between groups, challenge assumptions, and refuse to accept simplistic narratives.
Refuse to internalize the messages of power. If the world tells you that your dignity depends on your status, reject that idea outright. Dignity is not granted by those in power. It is inherent.
Redefine power itself. Instead of seeing power as control, see it as influence. Instead of seeking authority, seek relationships. Instead of trying to win, try to change the game entirely.
Most importantly, never underestimate the power of interruption. Even small acts of defiance can shift the trajectory of a story. As Congressman and Civil Rights Movement giant John Lewis famously urged, “Get in good trouble.”
The world is full of patterns—some harmful, some transformative. The question is: which ones will you choose to disrupt?